Re: Male vs Female Abuse towards children

[MariaR1947@xxxxxxx]

I realise from the reponses to this interesting question that I will be a 
very lone voice here and probably get much statistic throwing from various 
quarters.  However, it seems to me that people are 'bending over backwards' 
to excuse or down play female abuse towards children.  (Incidentally I would 
also add emotional/psychological abuse to the picture).  

I find it interesting that statistics for male abusers seem to get accepted 
very readily but for women?  Well a very different picture - there is 
statistical bias, feminization of poverty, trickle down effect etc. etc.  In 
other words, women don't really abuse children, they just appear to.  I would 
respectfully suggest that to the child concerned, the fact that their mother 
hits them all the time and/or shouts at them constantly and/or tells them 
frequently that she wishes they'd never been born etc. and/or neglects them 
is what is important and as women do have more access to children should not 
the question be turned around and the impact of female abuse on children 
considered?  

I honestly believe that the result of female abuse (especially emotional 
abuse/neglect) has a devastating effect on children (particularly boys) and 
particularly in relation to emotional and cognitive development.   I wish 
desperately that the consequences to the future adult of this type of abuse 
is fully considered instead of academic arguments to explain the figures.

At the moment, there seems to be a lack of any kind of discussion (or 
resistance to such a discussion) about the cruelty that women can and do 
perpetrate.  The cry 'mother blaming' goes up when the effects of insensitive 
care on babies are mentioned thereby successfully stopping discussion of the 
realities of how much babies and very young children need sensitive, 
consistent 'mothering'.  

'Blame' is a concept which should never come into the picture anyway.  It is 
unhelpful and inappropriate.  Women who abuse children have a developmental 
history, cognitive approach and emotional attitude which results in this 
response. Men who abuse also have a history which almost inevitably includes 
some form of neglect/abuse, although not necessarily a history of the 
particular abuse they are now perpetrating.   e.g. a chaotic family 
background in someone who sexually abuses.

Surely, the factors which pre-dispose to abuse, consequences and intervention 
are the important issues without trying to apparently downplay the figures of 
female perpetrators?

Incidentally, am I also the only person who finds the lumping together of 
violence towards 'women and children' worrying because a) violence towards 
women has a different dynamic to that of children and b) women are also 
violent towards children? 

Finally, (honest) just to put myself absolutely out on a limb, I also believe 
that the lack of positive male role models and the total dismissal of what 
seemed to be  traditional 'male virtues' such as honesty, valour, integrity, 
loyalty, protectors of the innocent etc. (you know all the wonderful 'boys 
own' stuff) - has caused a great many problems because males (and fathers) 
are so undervalued - well it seems so here in the UK!

Best wishes to all

Maria Robinson (with head above the parapet!)